At a dating event in a Guildford bar, 28-year-old Olivia Miller-Davis is upfront about her nerves. "It's always nerve-wracking when you're meeting new people," she says, before downloading an app that matches daters by star sign. She is at the Love at First Sign event because of "app fatigue": she dislikes judging people on "really limited information and just a couple of pictures". Her first match of the night, Edward, agrees. "They're designed so that you don't find 'the one', because they want you to come back and use the app forever," he says.
The evening comes as regulator Ofcom finds that 11% of adults use dating sites, but the time they spend on them is dropping from a peak of almost four hours a month in 2023 to three hours last year.
Events typically cost between £15 and £30, including a drink and an activity, and several attendees said that was better value than a string of app dates. Candice Gallagher, who runs the @Candilicious account and attended 10 events in 10 weeks, says online dating too often leads to "chat graveyards". "At a dating event, everyone is single, everyone's ready to mingle, and your chances of having a good conversation are much greater," she says.
Organisers point to remote work as a driver. "The little meet-cutes don't happen so much when you're at home with your shirt up top and your pyjamas down bottom," says Lissy Cleminson, director of events at Love at First Sign.
Money also matters. Olivia says she put dating on hold during a career change, and a Barclays survey found more than a quarter of daters said rising costs had changed how they date. Studies cited in the report put the monthly cost of dating, from apps to entertainment and clothes, at around £130.
Match Group, which owns Tinder and Hinge, says online dating still plays a central role. Its survey of 3,007 single people found that, among those who had ever had a relationship, 20% met their most recent partner on a dating app and 20% through friends. It also found 21% of baby boomers met their most recent partner at a pub, bar or club, compared with 4% of Gen Z. Chine Mmegwa, head of strategy, corporate development and operations, says Tinder has added interactive music and astrology features and a "double date mode" for friends, and is "bringing IRL experiences into the app", with events launched in the US and now the UK. "They want to be in person," she says.
Olivia's verdict on her evening was positive: she met some men she might go on a first date with. Asked whether she had met "the one", she laughed. "No, I'm not going to name anyone specific. But you'll be invited to the wedding if there is one!"